I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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