I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
