sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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