forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize