You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
