I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
