Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm just crazy horny about you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
