I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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