This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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