I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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