I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
