Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
