apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
