white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
