Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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