he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
