Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
