Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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