I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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