Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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