So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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