don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
