my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is the high leading the old right now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
how drunk are you?
Several
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
