Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
