Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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