Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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