My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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