He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
