So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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