She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
