she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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