Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize