well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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