Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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