Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
