i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
