You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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