So drunk its hurt
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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