I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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