I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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