Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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