he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
