His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize