I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize