I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you never un-have a 4some
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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