dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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