I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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