Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
