Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
