Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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