Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
