Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
