Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
