According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
