belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
