The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
