my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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