Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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