oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
