I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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