Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
