i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
