Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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