I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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