i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
