I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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