she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
